Memories of My Childhood

 or

 What's the Number of that Shrink?

Face it ... If I weren't embarrassed to be here then why would I be wearing this disguise?  It's been a terrible childhood with THEM around.  Always pestering me to pick stuff up, turn off the TV, turn off South Park, stop snacking ... when will they ever stop.  I go walking with my Dad sometimes.  He talks to everytbody on the street he passes - even people he don't know and he always says weird stuff.  That's why I gotta wear these ... otherwise I couldn't show my face in school.  I learned this trick from a movie with Woody Allen.  I feel the same way as his parents did about him only it's worse - it's MY parents that are the crazy ones.

The stupid black and white movies the old man watches - same old boring stuff.  They make the rocket out of cardboard and spray it with silver paint and then when this hokey monster comes out you're supposed to act scared.  I just want to barf - my old man is lame with a capital L.  Real loser.  He actually likes those dumb movies.  See what I mean ... it's a tough life here for me - he's always trying to get me to watch them - I'd rather apply hot wax to my eyelids.

Then the chores ....


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